Sometimes I think we spend too much time separating people into extroverts and introverts.
We put a lot of energy into figuring out which one we are, trying to understand ourselves and those around us and then end up realizing that we’re completely different. But I’d argue we’re al the same.
We’re all human, and now we’re starting to forget that.
We extroverts look at the introverts and say “I have nothing in common with them” or “they are the complete opposite of me”. How could I possibly live my life like them. It doesn’t make sense.
To me, the introverts look at us extroverts and see careless, reckless, not as thoughtful people who struggle to dive deep into topics. Which hurts us, but gives an introvert a sense of accomplishment, confidence, and prominence.
But I’ve just divided the entire human race into two opposing sides. How can there possibly be a good in that.
Books like Quiet by Susan Cain exist. It is an introverts manifesto. Attempting to explain many every day facts of introverted life, but at the same time somehow feels as if it is inadvertently attacking the extrovert. Maybe this is just thin skinned of me and I am unable to maintaining someone else’s perspective, but why else would we have these two sides and an uncountable number of books about them?
I want to be able to put myself in everybody’s shoes. To experience life as they would. It is this understanding and empathy that I think makes us profoundly human. Even if the whole extrovert and introvert debate would say that not everyone wants to share their feelings or be known to the world, I do think we all want to feel validated by something or someone. It doesn’t matter what personality you identify as. You want love.
And this is why I think we put too much effort into separating ourselves to the two different camps.
We all want love and need love. We all live, work, and experience with other people. We hear other people’s stories. We want to be a part of everyone’s lives and experience the world through multiple lenses, no matter who they are.
We humans are curious, insightful, and always learning, (even if we hate going to school). We’re social beyond belief, but dividing us into introvert extrovert only says that half of us are “capable” or “wanting” of sociality.
A person’s core just comes out in many ways.
There’s a dumb reference here, from Shrek. “Ogre’s are like onions”, says Shrek, “they have layers.”
We all have layers protecting who we truly are, yet we want to peel back those layers, or open up a sliver of our defenses to share with others who we are and hope that they don’t run away.
It doesn’t matter what you’re labeled as here. It matters that you’re human. You have a soul. You have beliefs, ideals, and morals.
Someone’s core might come out in their writing because they think better that way. Someone’s core might come out in a conversation at 3:23 AM that burdens the listener to hear. Another person’s core might come out in front of an entire audience, a filled auditorium or an online following.
Now all we have to do is truly see and experience every human’s core and accept them for who they are.
This doesn’t mean to go against our own beliefs. It doesn’t mean that we shouldn’t help them overcome a struggle.
But it does mean to stand firm and see them. To not run away when they unwillingly peel away a layer or open up the door just a sliver. A bond as strong as the closest friendship is formed when one human opens up to another and each remains there accepting of the other. I’d call that love. Maybe Phileo love like in Philidelphia, the city of brotherly love, or that romantic love that we crave. Either way we all want a part of it. We are all the same.
Put down your defenses. Experiences one another. Stop separating yourselves into completely opposite spheres.
We are all the same.
We are all loved.